So, I was in religious school this morning and this guy, Andy, he starts chuckling to himself. And what he says is something like, “Can you imagine if some Christian found out that Babylonian creation theology was right here in Torah?”

I fail to see the humor in that. For one thing, Christians have made that connection for longer than I’ve been a Christian. It’s not that high and exalted of a thing to notice. I don’t know of anyone who thinks it is any kind of a big deal either.

I suspect that Andy’s comment was not based so much on his new found appreciation of Babylonian theology as it is on the assumption that Christians are stupid, and the cultural norm that says that everyone will go along with it if you make fun of a Christian. After all, Jerry Falwell is one. And he IS a fairly easy mark.

I hate to say it, but the Christians I know -- ‘round these ‘heah paaats an-a-way -- ARE pretty dumb. And at this point I would like to lay into the Episcopalians and the myriad ways in which the bishops and clergy of this diocese have failed their flocks. But, the thing is, and the thing I would like to say to Andy, is that even stupid Christians are made in the image of God, same as you. Even the dullest of Lutherans is loved and cherished by God. Even the fattest, most hypocritical, fundamentalist… Oh, let’s just say it… God even loves Jerry Falwell! …And even me.

I doubt that there would have been such tacit acceptance of a disparaging comment made about pagans, or feminists, or God forbid Muslims. But, it’s OK to mock the Christians. I take issue with that kind of mos. Andy was the one who said the words. But, the mores of the group made it acceptable, even amusing. And that says more about the group than it does about Andy.

NOTE TO ANDY: When you talk about Christians... That's me you're talking about.

"Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight,feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings." -Victor Hugo

Been thinking about that today.

Today I thought about superpowers. You know, the kind that superheroes have. Superman can bend steel with his bare hands, Wonder Woman can catch bullets with her bracelets, Even Underdog can fly.

I don’t have any superpowers. But, if I did, the superpower I would want would be the power to take away people’s driving licenses. Look, some of you people shouldn’t be on the public roadways. You drive badly and you are annoying. So, just shape up on that. OK? Otherwise, I might have to take your license.

Today I thought about Ken. One of my oldest friends. Not one of those friends whom you know in college, but not in real life; Or, the kind you know from this job or that job… Ken was a real life friend. In college, yes. But, beyond too.

Didn’t see him very often. In fact, recently our relationship was mainly him emailing me things I deleted without reading. I never doubted Ken’s friendship. Ken and James… I never doubt those two. Bob. Everyone else, I think they secretly hate me.

Ken died yesterday.

Been thinking about that a lot.

I will not miss his jokes or his emails. Clearly, I don’t even miss his presence or the sound of his voice since I never went to see him or called him on the phone. But, I will miss the constancy of knowing he was there. Ken loved me. He was my friend. You know what it says in the Bible: “A friend loves you all the time even if you suck.” That’s the kind of friend he was. I am not sure that all that many people can pull off that kind of friendship, that constancy of love.

Ken collected things: Stamps, coins, crap of all kinds. He gave me some of the better stuff once.

Ken is the only person who ever made me a mix tape.

Ken gave me his GNT when I started Greek at Howard Payne. I still have it. Still use it. His name is written on the inside in fat magic marker. I never thought about it before but now I am glad.

When I was the editor of a small town newspaper, Ken gave me a dictionary. I still have that too. He wrote me a long note in the front adjuring me to use it.

When I went to work for the Republicans he didn’t give up on me.

Our worlds grew apart over the years. But the love… that stayed.

Been thinking about Ken today.

Yesterday I thought about Corinthians 4:9-16 which was the pericope for the day for the Greek Orthodox. It’s that passage that talks about how the poor old apostles were being ridiculed and made fun of, and their followers were… Well, let’s just take a look at it:

We (the apostles look like fools, but you (followers of Jesus) look wise…

we are without honor, you are distinguished…

We are weak, you are strong…

We are hungry and thirsty…

We don’t have fine clothes…

We are treated badly…

We are homeless…

Good grief… That was then, I guess, because these days it’s just the opposite. Those now claiming the apostles mantle are likely to look wise and be distinguished and have several honorary degrees on their paneled walls. They expect us stupid and weak lay folks (that’s what they call us, “folks.”) They expect us to look to them for strength. As if we are really stupid enough to do that. They are never hungry, many are fat. They dress in special clothes to show how special they are. And, it would be unseemly to treat one of them badly. In fact, Episcopal bishops themselves get a pass on bad behavior because nobody wants to tell them when they are being pigs, or even when they are failing to be pastors which is mainly their job; you know, to be the chief pastor and to dress nicely. And, unlike the real apostles, bishops today are likely to live in a home provided by their diocese. It has to be a real nice one too on account of their hospitality duties. Give me a break.

After that I thought about how I used to not be this way. I used to love the Episcopal Church. Truly love it. The longer I am kicked out if it, the less I love it. Pretty soon I think I am going to start hating it. If I can’t be in it, I hate it. Hate it.

I hope I think about something better today.

I thought that it would be good to observe St. Michael and All Angels for another week. If I were an Episcopalian I might feel compelled to try and follow along with the program. But, I'm not in it. And the up side of that is that I can do whatever I want.

I also thought quite a lot about how even though I miss my church I am happy not to be part of the Diocese of Texas because -- and this is not so much my hysterical hyperbole as it is just plain sad fact -- it is really awful.

Maybe someday I’ll move to a good diocese and I can be part of the church again. In the meantime, I am thankful for that bitchy priest in Cedar Park who recognized that my way of being a Christian, and of being decent, was so far removed from the rest of the diocese that I could never fit in.

I miss church. I miss it a lot. It is hard to obtain the Eucharist. I feel isolated. You know, more than usual. I don’t really believe that Christianity can be properly lived in isolation. But, I was never all that proper about it anyway I guess otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten kicked out to start with.

I am a free radical, lacking electrons. I can go anywhere, put me in church or synagogue, and I will make things happen. But, I never belong. Neither is my home. I am incomplete. Looking for the electron that will make me whole.

This is what I thought about today.

I have wondered if this woman, made by God and cherished by God, did she get anything to eat today? Did anyone see and serve Christ in her today? And, I thought a lot about my own complicity in creating and condoning her situation.

I wonder what brings her joy, what she believes, how she contributes, who she loves? Are her contributions honored, or is she thought to only be a taker, a chronic need?

That's what I thought about today.