I thought that it would be good to observe St. Michael and All Angels for another week. If I were an Episcopalian I might feel compelled to try and follow along with the program. But, I'm not in it. And the up side of that is that I can do whatever I want.

I also thought quite a lot about how even though I miss my church I am happy not to be part of the Diocese of Texas because -- and this is not so much my hysterical hyperbole as it is just plain sad fact -- it is really awful.

Maybe someday I’ll move to a good diocese and I can be part of the church again. In the meantime, I am thankful for that bitchy priest in Cedar Park who recognized that my way of being a Christian, and of being decent, was so far removed from the rest of the diocese that I could never fit in.

I miss church. I miss it a lot. It is hard to obtain the Eucharist. I feel isolated. You know, more than usual. I don’t really believe that Christianity can be properly lived in isolation. But, I was never all that proper about it anyway I guess otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten kicked out to start with.

I am a free radical, lacking electrons. I can go anywhere, put me in church or synagogue, and I will make things happen. But, I never belong. Neither is my home. I am incomplete. Looking for the electron that will make me whole.